Had To Use The Letter X Instead
The author of Jennings & Darbishire has died.
We had a collection of those stories at home, which I read a fair bit when was about (I think) ten or eleven.
Wednesday, June 30
Monday, June 28
Deep Thoughts On MP3 Players
On the Tube, we see each other. People with MP3 players. We'd like to sneer at people with Discmen, but they just don't care. That's why they're using a Discman.
When I bought my player, I was buying for practical reasons. Well, I just wanted one, but I didn't buy, you know, a metallic teal iPod the size of a Post-It note just to be trendy.
In fact, I didn't buy an iPod. I bought a Creative Labs thingy. Wait, let me glance to the left. A Creative Labs Zen Xtra (so good they had to put a muzzle on the word 'extra'). It's not an iPod. Silhouette people to not do awesome breaking moves on coloured backdrops with a Creative Labs Zen Xtra. (Xtra!)
I bought it because for the same price in an iPod you only got half the memory. I didn't think I cared about the fashion fads of electronic consumer goods. Yet, when I'm on the Tube, I get all defensive. I can see other MP3-player owners looking at it.
You see, the case is very handy. It clips on your belt. But it makes the player look big.
And big equals technologically inferior.
Sometimes I want to take the (brushed aluminium) player out of the slightly bulky case and shout at them "Enough withering looks! It's only the same size as a deck of cards! It's the case that makes it look big! It's the case!"
But I don't.
Because you're not allowed to talk to people on the Tube.
I thought I didn't care whether or not my MP3 player was trendy but maybe I do. Maybe I should take it out of the case when I'm on the Tube.
So that people can see it in all its brushed aluminum, roughly the same size as a deck of cards glory. Then they won't be so disdainful.
We'll be secure in the knowledge that we all have acceptably miniscule, roughly equal MP3 players.
Except for that smug guy without earphones, reading the Metro. He's got a nanotechnology implant in each ear that beams his music collection down from a satellite via microwave transmissions or something.
On the Tube, we see each other. People with MP3 players. We'd like to sneer at people with Discmen, but they just don't care. That's why they're using a Discman.
When I bought my player, I was buying for practical reasons. Well, I just wanted one, but I didn't buy, you know, a metallic teal iPod the size of a Post-It note just to be trendy.
In fact, I didn't buy an iPod. I bought a Creative Labs thingy. Wait, let me glance to the left. A Creative Labs Zen Xtra (so good they had to put a muzzle on the word 'extra'). It's not an iPod. Silhouette people to not do awesome breaking moves on coloured backdrops with a Creative Labs Zen Xtra. (Xtra!)
I bought it because for the same price in an iPod you only got half the memory. I didn't think I cared about the fashion fads of electronic consumer goods. Yet, when I'm on the Tube, I get all defensive. I can see other MP3-player owners looking at it.
You see, the case is very handy. It clips on your belt. But it makes the player look big.
And big equals technologically inferior.
Sometimes I want to take the (brushed aluminium) player out of the slightly bulky case and shout at them "Enough withering looks! It's only the same size as a deck of cards! It's the case that makes it look big! It's the case!"
But I don't.
Because you're not allowed to talk to people on the Tube.
I thought I didn't care whether or not my MP3 player was trendy but maybe I do. Maybe I should take it out of the case when I'm on the Tube.
So that people can see it in all its brushed aluminum, roughly the same size as a deck of cards glory. Then they won't be so disdainful.
We'll be secure in the knowledge that we all have acceptably miniscule, roughly equal MP3 players.
Except for that smug guy without earphones, reading the Metro. He's got a nanotechnology implant in each ear that beams his music collection down from a satellite via microwave transmissions or something.
Friday, June 18
When The Stars Are Right...
According to this library record, UCLA has a copy of John Dee's translation of the Necronomicon.
Hmm...
According to this library record, UCLA has a copy of John Dee's translation of the Necronomicon.
Hmm...
Thursday, June 17
From the DVLA
In order to assist other motorists in identifying potentially
dangerous drivers, it's now compulsory for anyone with a lower than
average IQ and driving ability to display a warning flag.
The flag (comprising of a red cross on a white background) will be
attached to the top of at least one door of their vehicle, or to the radio aerial.
For drivers of exceptionally low ability, additional flags are required.
In order to assist other motorists in identifying potentially
dangerous drivers, it's now compulsory for anyone with a lower than
average IQ and driving ability to display a warning flag.
The flag (comprising of a red cross on a white background) will be
attached to the top of at least one door of their vehicle, or to the radio aerial.
For drivers of exceptionally low ability, additional flags are required.
Wednesday, June 16
Monday, June 14
Note To Self:
Do not walk around building singing Bodycount & Ice-T's seminal Heston-hated classic "Cop Killer" to yourself.
Do not walk around building singing Bodycount & Ice-T's seminal Heston-hated classic "Cop Killer" to yourself.
Saturday, June 12
Living the Dream
Over at the Guardian my name has now been spread far and wide, to literally.... hundreds of people.
43rd over: get on that.
Over at the Guardian my name has now been spread far and wide, to literally.... hundreds of people.
43rd over: get on that.
Friday, June 11
I love the Guardian's online cricket coverage
"Saggers wades in to little effect, with the exception of one jaffa that sneaks past McCullum's outside edge. Like a teenager who likes boys and girls, this game could still go either way."]
" Saggers is getting nice shape, and cuts McCullum in half - not literally of course - but after Harmison he's a bit like Prefab Sprout following the Pixies."
"Saggers wades in to little effect, with the exception of one jaffa that sneaks past McCullum's outside edge. Like a teenager who likes boys and girls, this game could still go either way."]
" Saggers is getting nice shape, and cuts McCullum in half - not literally of course - but after Harmison he's a bit like Prefab Sprout following the Pixies."
Amnesia
Weirdly enough, until I read it just now, I had no recollection of ever writing, let alone posting to a web forum, the following ideas for Star Trek spin off series...
Fear & Loathing On The USS Enterprise
With a creative bypassing of the safety controls, you can get a replicator to synthesise ANY drug.
It's just unfortunate that the aliens beam into Engineering just when you can barely make it to the other side of the room.
StarTrekChildren
Enough said, really.
Maybe set it in totalitarian Cardassia, where rock is outlawed.
Or on Vulcan, where rock'n'roll is considered dangerously emotional.
Twin Decks
Who murdered Ensign Palmer?
All Special Investigator Cooper knows is that Ten-Forward serves some damn fine pie.
High Weirdness aboard the Enterprise. Dispense clues through dream sequences, in which Colm Meaney appears on an inactive hologrid to the PCs, speaking backwards.
Weirdly enough, until I read it just now, I had no recollection of ever writing, let alone posting to a web forum, the following ideas for Star Trek spin off series...
Fear & Loathing On The USS Enterprise
With a creative bypassing of the safety controls, you can get a replicator to synthesise ANY drug.
It's just unfortunate that the aliens beam into Engineering just when you can barely make it to the other side of the room.
StarTrekChildren
Enough said, really.
Maybe set it in totalitarian Cardassia, where rock is outlawed.
Or on Vulcan, where rock'n'roll is considered dangerously emotional.
Twin Decks
Who murdered Ensign Palmer?
All Special Investigator Cooper knows is that Ten-Forward serves some damn fine pie.
High Weirdness aboard the Enterprise. Dispense clues through dream sequences, in which Colm Meaney appears on an inactive hologrid to the PCs, speaking backwards.
Wednesday, June 9
Gmail
Gmail have given me yet more invitations for other people to set up accounts.
Anyone want one?
These things are selling for up to $60 on eBay, apparently. I find this hard to comprehend.
It's a good email service, but it's free. Why pay money just to get in on the beta test version?
Gmail have given me yet more invitations for other people to set up accounts.
Anyone want one?
These things are selling for up to $60 on eBay, apparently. I find this hard to comprehend.
It's a good email service, but it's free. Why pay money just to get in on the beta test version?
Monday, June 7
Thursday, June 3
From The eXile
50 Reasons Russia Still Matters.
A sample:
"44. The Finns
The chance to buy cheap vodka over the border in Russia is the only thing that keeps most male Finns alive. Stuck in a social-democratic nightmare world where harsh language is illegal and a bottle of vodka costs more than a new Saab, Finns pour into Russia for life-giving breaths of noise, chaos and cheap, drunken debauchery. Without that Russian escape-valve, Finns would be unable to afford drunken binges and soon explode, raising their voices and perhaps even slamming doors."
50 Reasons Russia Still Matters.
A sample:
"44. The Finns
The chance to buy cheap vodka over the border in Russia is the only thing that keeps most male Finns alive. Stuck in a social-democratic nightmare world where harsh language is illegal and a bottle of vodka costs more than a new Saab, Finns pour into Russia for life-giving breaths of noise, chaos and cheap, drunken debauchery. Without that Russian escape-valve, Finns would be unable to afford drunken binges and soon explode, raising their voices and perhaps even slamming doors."
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