The Critics Rave!
Ever one to jump on a bandwagon, here's what people have been saying about, or to, me (with added exclamation marks for emphasis!).
"Estimable!" -- Stephen O'Brien
"Dapper and erudite!" -- Patrick Hudson
"I really enjoyed Tom's adaptation!" -- author John Tynes, of raison d'etre
"Awesome!" -- Max Cairnduff
"Controversial!" -- 'Coriander'
"Your argument assumes that time is basically linear!" -- Nick Brownlow
Wednesday, February 25
Curses
I have just discovered that my old Hotmail account was deactivated through lack of use. Irritatingly, when reactivated, it still has my old inbox folders but none of the content. This means I have lost my correspondence and manuscript stuff on the Spaceship Compendium for Heavy Gear and "In Your Face Again" for Feng Shui. Not to mention all my emails in China. I just hope I saved them on my laptop.
Like I say, curses.
I have just discovered that my old Hotmail account was deactivated through lack of use. Irritatingly, when reactivated, it still has my old inbox folders but none of the content. This means I have lost my correspondence and manuscript stuff on the Spaceship Compendium for Heavy Gear and "In Your Face Again" for Feng Shui. Not to mention all my emails in China. I just hope I saved them on my laptop.
Like I say, curses.
Tuesday, February 24
The Last Samurai (abridged)
TOM CRUISE
Ken, I have developed a fondness
for your spirituality, honor, and
discipline. Most importantly, I
really like using swords, because
you can cut off heads with them.
Please train me in the ways of the
Samurai, even though I am white, so
that I may display cool fighting
moves in a nonthreatening way to the
white audience.
KEN WATANABE
It's like Kill Bill, but meant to
be taken seriously.
TOM CRUISE
And far less entertaining.
(courtesy of Rod Hilton @The Editing Room)
TOM CRUISE
Ken, I have developed a fondness
for your spirituality, honor, and
discipline. Most importantly, I
really like using swords, because
you can cut off heads with them.
Please train me in the ways of the
Samurai, even though I am white, so
that I may display cool fighting
moves in a nonthreatening way to the
white audience.
KEN WATANABE
It's like Kill Bill, but meant to
be taken seriously.
TOM CRUISE
And far less entertaining.
(courtesy of Rod Hilton @The Editing Room)
Monday, February 23
Very Short Review of It's All About Love
A gang of ideas thrown at the screen with some excellent tracking shots of vehicles in motion. Great Sean Penn cameo role. An assassin at the ice rink scene to rival RONIN. Slows down a bit too much at the end, but beautifully shot if nothing else. A film even I (me!) would describe as 'rather odd'. Achieved the rarity of ending and no one in the cinema speaking during the credits. It won't change your life, but it's definitely worth seeing.
A gang of ideas thrown at the screen with some excellent tracking shots of vehicles in motion. Great Sean Penn cameo role. An assassin at the ice rink scene to rival RONIN. Slows down a bit too much at the end, but beautifully shot if nothing else. A film even I (me!) would describe as 'rather odd'. Achieved the rarity of ending and no one in the cinema speaking during the credits. It won't change your life, but it's definitely worth seeing.
Uncanny
It's amazing how much easier it is to get up and go to work when it's daylight.
Thank heaven for the lengthening days. And other small mercies.
I took an online quiz today (I work in an office - what do you think I do all day?) designed to see if one's accent is "Yankee" or "Dixie". Naturally, it had some hiccups in it for the non-American. For example, when I say the word 'aunt', it rhymes neither with 'want' nor with 'ant'. Still, I came out 65% Dixie.
I am not sure what to make of this.
It's amazing how much easier it is to get up and go to work when it's daylight.
Thank heaven for the lengthening days. And other small mercies.
I took an online quiz today (I work in an office - what do you think I do all day?) designed to see if one's accent is "Yankee" or "Dixie". Naturally, it had some hiccups in it for the non-American. For example, when I say the word 'aunt', it rhymes neither with 'want' nor with 'ant'. Still, I came out 65% Dixie.
I am not sure what to make of this.
Friday, February 20
The Last One Worked So Well
ELIZA takes on Hamlet.....
You: What's the news?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Let me question more in particular: what have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?
Eliza: Why do you say your good friends deserved at the hands of fortune that she sends i to prison hither?
You: Denmark's a prison.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: A goodly one; in which there are many confines, wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.
Eliza: Would you like it if they were not many confines wards and dungeons, denmark being one o the worst?
You: there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it is a prison
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.
Eliza: Do you dream often?
You: Is't possible?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: It is not very strange; for mine uncle is king of Denmark.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: 'Sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.
Eliza: Do you wish that philosophy could find it out?
You: My uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
Eliza: Why do you say your unclefather and auntmother are deceived?
You: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.
Eliza: How long have you been but mad northnorthwest, and when the wind is southerly you know a hawk from a handsaw?
You: Hark you, here comes Polonius.
ELIZA takes on Hamlet.....
You: What's the news?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: Let me question more in particular: what have you, my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?
Eliza: Why do you say your good friends deserved at the hands of fortune that she sends i to prison hither?
You: Denmark's a prison.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: A goodly one; in which there are many confines, wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.
Eliza: Would you like it if they were not many confines wards and dungeons, denmark being one o the worst?
You: there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it is a prison
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.
Eliza: Do you dream often?
You: Is't possible?
Eliza: Please go on.
You: It is not very strange; for mine uncle is king of Denmark.
Eliza: Please go on.
You: 'Sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if philosophy could find it out.
Eliza: Do you wish that philosophy could find it out?
You: My uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
Eliza: Why do you say your unclefather and auntmother are deceived?
You: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.
Eliza: How long have you been but mad northnorthwest, and when the wind is southerly you know a hawk from a handsaw?
You: Hark you, here comes Polonius.
Here's What Happened...
...when I asked ELIZA for careers advice.
Eliza: Hello. I am ELIZA. How can I help you?
You: what career should I pursue?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: what?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: how do you mean?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: don't keep asking me the same thing.
Eliza: What resemblance do you see?
You: to what?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: the question about a career? No, not at all.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: you're being circumlocutory.
Eliza: How long have you been being circumlocutory?
You: you started it.
Eliza: Oh, i started it.
You: yes.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: trying just answering the question. Some advice. you know.
Eliza: Oh, i know.
You: well, tell me.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: No.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: No, I'm not.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: That's it, I'm leaving. Goodbye.
...when I asked ELIZA for careers advice.
Eliza: Hello. I am ELIZA. How can I help you?
You: what career should I pursue?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: what?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: how do you mean?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: don't keep asking me the same thing.
Eliza: What resemblance do you see?
You: to what?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?
You: the question about a career? No, not at all.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: you're being circumlocutory.
Eliza: How long have you been being circumlocutory?
You: you started it.
Eliza: Oh, i started it.
You: yes.
Eliza: You are sure?
You: trying just answering the question. Some advice. you know.
Eliza: Oh, i know.
You: well, tell me.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You: No.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: No, I'm not.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.
You: That's it, I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Monday, February 16
Learning Network Trained in Dictator and Sitcom Character Identification
This is almost as addictive as this.
The former 'this' is a program designed to identify via 20-questionsing any dictator or sitcom character you choose. My mum and I spent ages trying to bamboozle the thing. It got Bernard Black surprisingly quickly, but we managed to sneak by with Dave Briggs from "The Detectives" and Elaine out of "due South". couldn't think of any very original dictators, though.
Speaking of sitcoms, "Jonathan Creek" was on on Saturday. Not the best episode evr, but it was pretty good.
This is almost as addictive as this.
The former 'this' is a program designed to identify via 20-questionsing any dictator or sitcom character you choose. My mum and I spent ages trying to bamboozle the thing. It got Bernard Black surprisingly quickly, but we managed to sneak by with Dave Briggs from "The Detectives" and Elaine out of "due South". couldn't think of any very original dictators, though.
Speaking of sitcoms, "Jonathan Creek" was on on Saturday. Not the best episode evr, but it was pretty good.
Saturday, February 14
Thursday, February 5
Daddy's Girl
Speaking of myths, Sofia Coppola's at it again. This time with LOST IN TRANSLATION, a film she credits herself as having "written", despite the fact that she didn't really write anything at all and the cast did all the work. Well, whatever.
Despite a rushed schedule, which might have made it forgiveable, Sofia claims that the boom is meant to be in shot repeatedly.
Right. And THE VIRGIN SUICIDES was meant to be rubbish.
And you were deliberately so grating on the nerves as to make THE GODFATHER PART III unwatchable.
Speaking of myths, Sofia Coppola's at it again. This time with LOST IN TRANSLATION, a film she credits herself as having "written", despite the fact that she didn't really write anything at all and the cast did all the work. Well, whatever.
Despite a rushed schedule, which might have made it forgiveable, Sofia claims that the boom is meant to be in shot repeatedly.
Right. And THE VIRGIN SUICIDES was meant to be rubbish.
And you were deliberately so grating on the nerves as to make THE GODFATHER PART III unwatchable.
Internet Myths
Another bubble burst.
Lots of people, especially Americans, but most recently a friend of mine, have been taking great pleasure in passing it around that if you type in "French military victories", Google returns 'did you mean French military defeats?'
This isn't strictly true. Some clown has got his own webpage (not a actual Google 'not found' result page) to the top of the list for that search, so that that's what you get if you hit "I'm feeling lucky"*. So there you go.
* Actually, I use Google in Latin, so my button says "Favente Fortuna!" But that's largely irrelevant.
Another bubble burst.
Lots of people, especially Americans, but most recently a friend of mine, have been taking great pleasure in passing it around that if you type in "French military victories", Google returns 'did you mean French military defeats?'
This isn't strictly true. Some clown has got his own webpage (not a actual Google 'not found' result page) to the top of the list for that search, so that that's what you get if you hit "I'm feeling lucky"*. So there you go.
* Actually, I use Google in Latin, so my button says "Favente Fortuna!" But that's largely irrelevant.
Wednesday, February 4
Ring A Ring Of Roses
On the way down Tulse Hill towards Effra Road and Brixton town centre, there's a garage with the perfectly sawn-off rear end of a Ford Escort lying outisde (sans wheels and other accoutrements, naturally).
A less trusting man than myself might leap to the conclusion that there was some kind of 'ringing' operation at work in the garage. And that it might be considered foolhardy to leave evidence out by the road where the cops can see it.
On the way down Tulse Hill towards Effra Road and Brixton town centre, there's a garage with the perfectly sawn-off rear end of a Ford Escort lying outisde (sans wheels and other accoutrements, naturally).
A less trusting man than myself might leap to the conclusion that there was some kind of 'ringing' operation at work in the garage. And that it might be considered foolhardy to leave evidence out by the road where the cops can see it.
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