Monsoon Season

A sudden electrical storm broke over London yesterday just before 6pm.
I'd been feeling not too good since about lunchtime, and my journey home did not help this - the stairs at Brixton tube station were blocked people unwilling to leave the station. Admittedly, this was torrential, and Tulse Hill was like a river, but walking in the rain won't kill you.

My general fatigue seems to have passed, though I still have a sore throat. I am fighting this with the traditional medicine of my people. Strepsils.

But enough about me. Adam, my housemate, was unlucky enough to be caught more fully in the storm. He'd got a lift from a friend and told them it was okay to just drop him at a bus stop. Then he discovered he had no money for the bus, and was forced to traipse home up the hill with nothing more substantial than a tracksuit jacket on. Admirably, he took this on with what he described as a 'samurai attitude'.

He was, of course, alluding to this saying from Ghost Dog: There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.

THES

There's an article in the Times Higher this week by Richard Drayton about the rise of empires. There's one almost throwaway comment that, I think, bears repeating out of context:

"[A]s Spain's conquistadores burnt Arawak villages they carried the cross; today we drop cluster bombs, murder civilians and torture prisoners of war in the name of democracy and human rights."

Well, exactly. And I think we can all agree that this means that democracy and human rights are therefore fundamentally flawed concepts of which we need take no notice. Furthermore, anyone who continues to believe in democracy and/or human rights after their use as a (to quote Drayton again) "myth of shared virtue" is just undertaking an exercise in self-delusion.

What? What?

No, seriously. What in the name of all that is reasonable is going on here? To me, the very existence of a web page dedicated to figure-skating related spoof songs represents nothing particularly negative, merely inexplicable.

Someone out there reads these and understands the references. Who are they? Could it be someone you know? Be vigilant.

In Other News

Woman complains about yacht

New Escalator
(to the tune of Smooth Operator)

They've got a renovated escalator at Brixton tube station. Mmmm...escalatey.
Today's a cloudless spring day, with birds wittering in the trees to one another and silent jets scudding distant across the sky.

Meanwhile, underground, Dove have been doing a whole bunch of ads with "realistic" (for want of a better word) models and the slogan "As Tested On Real Curves". Stuff like this:



You know.
Anyway, some wag has been putting satirical stickers on these things. The funniest of these, I think, is one (stuck on this image) saying THIS PICTURE IS DEMEANING TO FAT WOMEN.

Sadly, some people don't seem to have got the memo. Under one sticker (which was possibly the one saying DOVE: FOR FAT CHICKS, I can't really remember) was a second, hand-written, sticker that said "You are just trying to convince yourself that smaller is better". Ah, yes. How brilliantly incisive. That's what I call wit. Tellingly, this second sticker was written in felt tip.

The Links Roll On

Wow. It's like I don't want to provide any actual original content at all, isn't it? Actually, there are a lot of people (four) milling around the office today, so I can't really get away with extensive posting.

In the meantime, why not read this G2 article about why shopping is rubbish?

Everynight Images


An interesting clubbing/urban stock photo service, found here. Could be useful for some people, merely diverting for others.

"When you're a rich american, vacationing in a third-world paradise, it's good karma to be nice to the local peasants, and it makes everyone notice what a beautiful, caring and open-minded person you are."

Supermodel Personals takes bitchy humour to a new level. Unless it doesn't. I think it's funny, but then I'm exactly the kind of bitter and cynical misanthrope that Simon & Garfunkel sang about in "I Am A Rock".

Memery.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"Both universities do in fact appear to be genuine and above board."

Suppressed Libs

Basically, it's "Mad Libs" but Illuminated. It was on the April fool edition of Pyramid. Here's what I got:

The Topkapi Radio Incident
"You're a handsome devil. What's your name?"

In 1981, when NASA launched the first Obelisk Shuttle, little could most Americans have bled that nearly 333 years earlier, Dalmatia had attempted the first Moon landing. Under the auspices of Rudolf IV, the Yellow programme was the result of a clandestine meeting between the Shanghai Green Gang and the Hare Krishna sect. The harum-scarum meeting was also notable as it occurred in Kiev (where Cecil Rhodes was scared in 1981). Which brings us to the first mention of Spring-Heeled Lindsday in this strange tale. As hinted in Robert Chambers' classic 1012 novel "Wait! That's My Tapir" (later made into a BBC sitcom starring John Cleese and a railing) the foundations had already been laid: Robespierre was sailing with a backpack.

"What a nice traffic system, it's so bright!"

Gaming the incident can be a veritable potpourri of aichmophobia. The Game Master may be clicked by the lack of rum materials available at the local inculcation, but the influence of the Antarctic Space Whigs can be found everywhere from Lille to the Glorioso Islands (where Emperor Constantine's thumb is said to be kept on ice). Of course, as Dr John Dee knew, this presuppose a Stoic dyspeptic diasporanism (though this could be a load of windows). Indeed, as Marshal Blucher noted, (gildingly, some say) "cabinet is a set of lies, agreed upon." Yet traces of Plutonian influence can fit neatly into campaigns as enamelled as GURPS Tongan Civil War or even GURPS Civil Law, so you should drive this as soon as possible. With all due respect to Simon de Montford, your players will buy you for it.

How Countdown Works

I found this amusing and informative.

More later. Today is Bulletin deadline day. So obviously, I'm posting to my weblog instead of getting on with it.

Aw Heck, It's Full Of Stars
Star-reading psychic and three-time Wyoming state rodeo champion Jenning Xylem interprets what the heavens hold for you.

Moved to NAOWFIT.

Super

Even people like me who basically don't like comics might be interested in Action Comics issue 1. It's got the first ever appearance of Superman in it, and would set one back the better part of $1,000,000 (US or Canadian). For tramps, students, people who've lost their Switch cards and other paupers, why not just read it online?

A Vaguely Official Thing

Still haven't seen this yet (will do on Friday), but this statement would, had it been read by anyone, have defused an awful lot of half-baked film criticism at the Guardian and Independent.

DeNiro.

The rules are simple. One person names a movie, the next person in the chain must name an actor in that film. The NEXT person must come up with another movie starring that actor, and so on...

If a player can't come up with a connection point, they take a letter - once you've gotten D-E-N-I-R-O you're out. The letter-taker then starts the next chain with either a film or an actor.

Sounds easy, doesn't it? You'd be surprised.

And watch out for the dreaded Feldman/Haim Loop Effect.