Talentless Moron Wins Prize
No, not me. I haven't won any prizes lately. Rather, Gus Van Sant has won the Palme d'Or at Cannes.
Yes, Gus "Psycho Re-make" Van Sant. I can only assume that someone has adulterated the Cannes municipal water supply with some highly psychoactive substances.
Tuesday, May 27
Sunday, May 25
Wogan hits Riga
Dear God, it's Eurovision time again.
The German entry is mental. The Russians are being represented by t.A.t.U. (or however the hell you're meant to capitalise that).
Gah. It's no wonder I forget about this event's existence unless forcibly reminded of it.
Dear God, it's Eurovision time again.
The German entry is mental. The Russians are being represented by t.A.t.U. (or however the hell you're meant to capitalise that).
Gah. It's no wonder I forget about this event's existence unless forcibly reminded of it.
Friday, May 23
Thursday, May 22
Exams Summary
Music, Shamanism & Healing - talked about Korea, Tarantism and the kecak, desperately trying to shoehorn references to Antonin Artaud in to the last one.
Modern Chinese Literature: Analysis and Interpretation - dropped one question on the factual knowledge, evaluated the macho poetry of Guo Moruo, overused the word "everyman" while talking about The True Story of Ah Q.
Music, Shamanism & Healing - talked about Korea, Tarantism and the kecak, desperately trying to shoehorn references to Antonin Artaud in to the last one.
Modern Chinese Literature: Analysis and Interpretation - dropped one question on the factual knowledge, evaluated the macho poetry of Guo Moruo, overused the word "everyman" while talking about The True Story of Ah Q.
Tuesday, May 20
Stream o' Consciousness
All things are possible. Except, I am given to understand, being all things to all men.
Though maybe if you were St. Thomas More like in that Robert Bolt play, A Man For All Season...
Do you remember that song, "Girl For All Seasons", that was in Grease 2? No, neither do I. Grease 2 wasn't much cop, was it?
Speaking of cops, I saw something on TV today called Streets of San Francisco, a police drama featuring a youthful but still lizard-like Michael Douglas.
Did you know that Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas? But obviously he had to have a stage name, because Michael Douglas was already around. Michael douglas is very old - it seems like he's been around for ever, though he hasn't, of course. He's only walked the earth for three thousand years.
His Screen Actors' Guild membership card is filled out in a little-known dialect of ancient Egyptian, spoken only in the Kushite kingdoms.
Kush was a desert kingdom to the south-west of Egypt, if I recall correctly. The Sahara might be my favourite desert, though I'm not sure I really have a favourite desert. I don't even have a favourite dessert, though I am partial to apple pie with custard.
Roobarb and Custard, eh? now that was a good cartoon. At least, I remember enjoying it at the time - I have very little recollection of the cartoon itself.
Roobarb and Custard must have been made a good fifteen years ago by now. Being a cat and a dog, Roobarb and Custard would probably be dead by now, if they were real. Thenkfully, they're crudely felt-tipped characters who live on in our memories and "Top 1000000 Children's TV Shows Of ALL TIME" programmes, which will then fill the top ten with programmes that aren't for children. Like the Muppets, or the Simpsons.
Muppets, eh? ..... no, that's enough. I've got work to do.
All things are possible. Except, I am given to understand, being all things to all men.
Though maybe if you were St. Thomas More like in that Robert Bolt play, A Man For All Season...
Do you remember that song, "Girl For All Seasons", that was in Grease 2? No, neither do I. Grease 2 wasn't much cop, was it?
Speaking of cops, I saw something on TV today called Streets of San Francisco, a police drama featuring a youthful but still lizard-like Michael Douglas.
Did you know that Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas? But obviously he had to have a stage name, because Michael Douglas was already around. Michael douglas is very old - it seems like he's been around for ever, though he hasn't, of course. He's only walked the earth for three thousand years.
His Screen Actors' Guild membership card is filled out in a little-known dialect of ancient Egyptian, spoken only in the Kushite kingdoms.
Kush was a desert kingdom to the south-west of Egypt, if I recall correctly. The Sahara might be my favourite desert, though I'm not sure I really have a favourite desert. I don't even have a favourite dessert, though I am partial to apple pie with custard.
Roobarb and Custard, eh? now that was a good cartoon. At least, I remember enjoying it at the time - I have very little recollection of the cartoon itself.
Roobarb and Custard must have been made a good fifteen years ago by now. Being a cat and a dog, Roobarb and Custard would probably be dead by now, if they were real. Thenkfully, they're crudely felt-tipped characters who live on in our memories and "Top 1000000 Children's TV Shows Of ALL TIME" programmes, which will then fill the top ten with programmes that aren't for children. Like the Muppets, or the Simpsons.
Muppets, eh? ..... no, that's enough. I've got work to do.
Monday, May 19
I Should Be In Bed
Just a few more...
Battleship Potemkin - men in woolly hats revolt after a tragic pram accident on the Odessa Steps.
The Odyssey - primitive Greek package holiday goes awry, with hilarious results!
The Aeneid - Trojan hooligans go on road trip to Italy, pick fight with host nation supporters. Some guy's horse bursts into tears.
Angel Heart - Mickey Rourke goes to New Orleans, where he is insulted in French by Charlotte Rampling. Robert de Niro eats an egg.
Just a few more...
Battleship Potemkin - men in woolly hats revolt after a tragic pram accident on the Odessa Steps.
The Odyssey - primitive Greek package holiday goes awry, with hilarious results!
The Aeneid - Trojan hooligans go on road trip to Italy, pick fight with host nation supporters. Some guy's horse bursts into tears.
Angel Heart - Mickey Rourke goes to New Orleans, where he is insulted in French by Charlotte Rampling. Robert de Niro eats an egg.
Inadequate, Yet Accurate, Summaries
If On A Winter's Night A Traveller - Italo Calvino tells you what you're doing, as it happens. You read a whole bunch of books.
Barry Lyndon - Ryan O'Neal goes on a tour of Europe, comes home only to get shot in the leg by his chubby stepson.
A Bout De Souffle - Jean-Paul Belmondo steals a car. Then he kills a cop and bickers with Jean Seberg for the rest of the movie, trying to persuade her to go to Italy. Every ten minutes, he impersonates Humphrey Bogart.
Top Gun - Kelly McGillis seduces Tom Cruise by dressing like a man.
Star Wars - a farm boy and an old tramp vandalise a space station.
Casablanca - charming slice-of-life drama about the day to day running of a wartime bar in north Africa.
For A Few Dollars More - Clint Eastwood pretends to be a bank robber. Lee van Cleef eats soup using a surprisingly flat spoon. Both turn out to be on the trail of a man with a fetish for clockwork musical accompaniment.
Moby Dick - after sharing a bed with a harpooneer, Ishmael signs on board the whaler Pequod, which later capsizes.
If On A Winter's Night A Traveller - Italo Calvino tells you what you're doing, as it happens. You read a whole bunch of books.
Barry Lyndon - Ryan O'Neal goes on a tour of Europe, comes home only to get shot in the leg by his chubby stepson.
A Bout De Souffle - Jean-Paul Belmondo steals a car. Then he kills a cop and bickers with Jean Seberg for the rest of the movie, trying to persuade her to go to Italy. Every ten minutes, he impersonates Humphrey Bogart.
Top Gun - Kelly McGillis seduces Tom Cruise by dressing like a man.
Star Wars - a farm boy and an old tramp vandalise a space station.
Casablanca - charming slice-of-life drama about the day to day running of a wartime bar in north Africa.
For A Few Dollars More - Clint Eastwood pretends to be a bank robber. Lee van Cleef eats soup using a surprisingly flat spoon. Both turn out to be on the trail of a man with a fetish for clockwork musical accompaniment.
Moby Dick - after sharing a bed with a harpooneer, Ishmael signs on board the whaler Pequod, which later capsizes.
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